Inquiries and Injuries

When you have cooked a frozen pizza in the oven and you pull it out and begin to divide it up into slices, and the knife blade happens to land directly on one of those round, mine-like pepperoni's, do you try and cut through the pepperoni, or scoot it over a little bit and keep cutting on your original path?

When your downstairs neighbors are throwing a kegger (like right now) and you are trying to go to sleep (like right now), do you put in earplugs, go down stairs and tell them to be quiet, join them in their late night activities, or default to updating your obnoxiously self-preoccupied blog site?

When stray dogs, cute ones at that, approach you, do you pet them or avoid them?

Minesweeper or Solitaire?

What does RSVP stand for? Honestly.

Do you pronounce it envelope or on-velope?

Has anyone ever read "A Dream to Squish By" by Michel Alexus? And if so, how was it?

When your downstairs neighbors are throwing a kegger and you are trying to go to sleep do you throw groceries down at them from your second floor window, do you call the cops, do you walk outside naked, or do you meander through the crowd asking them if anyone has read "A Dream to Squish By" by Michel Alexus?

Would you ever remove belly button lint in public?

Is there any other toast or bread product named after a state besides Texas? Michigan Muffins?

In an apartment with two guys, one of them purchases a 24-roll package of toilet paper for the apartment. It was out of necessity. But what if they are planning on moving out in a few weeks and the bulk of the toilet paper remains. Does the one who purchased it take it with him? Do they divide it up? If so, who gets to keep the plastic, cellophane like wrapping it came in? Do they split it evenly? Does the one who bought it get to keep more?

Someone make them stop.