Gratuitous Gratitude

I will not names here but a "friend of mine" recently received a gift from a "friend of theirs." I'm not sure what the gift was or the occasion behind the giving of this certain gift, but whatever it was it warranted the response of a thank-you note. You are well aware of the thank-you note, the burden of writing them, and the irrelevance of receiving them. But that is beside the point. My "friend" wrote this thank-you note and sent it. Everything is normal so far.

Then my "friend" received an email from their "friend" thanking them for the thank-you note. This sounds like a joke, but it is very true. My "friend" received a thank-you note for sending a thank-you note for them sending a gift. When will it stop? Should my "friend" write a thank-you note back? When will the gratitude exchange come to an end? It has to, lest it spin out into an endless, relentless exchange of thanking them for thanking you.

I'm not a fan of the thank-you note. Any time I receive something now the question pops in the back of my head, "I wonder if I have to write a thank-you note for this." Can you receive any gift without it being connected to an obligation to write a thank-you note in return? Is there anything that bypasses the obligation? (Pez dispensers, the passing of a pencil, roommates buying toilet paper??) I don't even like receiving things anymore. I associate it now with the difficulty of trying to think of something nice to write, the difficulty of trying to think of enough things to write so I actually fill up the entire card, and the difficulty of keeping up with the given postage of the day.

Ever had someone get upset with you because they did not receive a thank-you note? Or one that arrived "on time?" That all is so silly to me. To give something with ANY expectation is to defeat the purpose of GIVING it, right? It is not a business transaction (I give you gift, you give me recognition that I gave you the gift), it is a GIFT, that is, a free, gracious, giving of something with no obligations, expectations, or strings attached. The moment you demand something after the giving of a gift, it no longer is a gift. It then becomes a business deal (see my thoughts on "tipping").

I think it is a good thing that we thank each other for things and that we remain thankful for all of our gifts and blessings and graces; however, the moment it becomes obligated and expected, it taints it and removes the sincerity of the gratitude.

Thank you for reading.