Everyone gets ridiculous forwards from people. Be it your aunt, your not-so-close friend, or your friends' parents. For me, it is my mother likes to forward me things. We are close enough to where I can calmly tell her to stop on many occasions. To her credit, she has cut back - especially on the cheesy Christian forwards that beseech me to forward it all of my friends less I lose my eternal security. But she did happen to send one that was not only humorous but blog worthy. Here tis:
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we
know the batteries are getting weak?
Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when
they know there is not enough?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are
four billion stars, but check when you say the paint
is wet?
Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal
injection?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but
ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you
use the bubbles are always white?
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator
with hopes that something new to eat will have
materialized?
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times
with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it
up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum
one more chance?
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end
on your first try?
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light
fixtures?
When we are in the supermarket and someone rams your
ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing
so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't
all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid
idiot?"
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something
that's falling off the table you always manage to
knock something else over?
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as
it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every
four persons are suffering from some sort of mental
illness. Think of your three best friends -- if
they're okay, then it's you.
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2 comments:
i get those kind of forwards from my dad all the time. he usually laughs so hard he cries when he reads them.
i laughed heartily aloud at a couple of those.
i think i'll send this to my dad.
(I can't believe I am doing this, but...) Here are two more, get ready:
Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
Why is there brail on the keypads at the drive-through ATM?
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