With one week left till May Madness, I thought that I would lay down a few ground rules, clear the playing field, and wash the proverbial dishes before we embark on this month of madness together.
Rule #1: I will write a blog post every day for the month of May. You can see how it already is getting a bit mad.
Rule #2: I will write said blog posts every morning in particular. This means I will wake up, go straight to the computer and type whatever it is that comes to my mind in the waking hours of the morning. The madness is almost getting out of hand now.
Rule #3: There is no rule #3. There is so much madness involved with this publicity stunt that I don't know what to do with myself.
There you have it. One week away....and then.....madness.
Like the Mad Hatter. Or a Mad Scientist. Or a Mad Ostrich.
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Sunday, April 13, 2008
2.5 Weeks and Counting
Two words: May Madness.
It's coming.
It's coming much like Y2K came and went, with all of its anticipatory pomp, all of its promised apocalyptic chaos, all of its immanent destruction only to let the world down after having compiled storehouses of vienna sausages, bottled water, and ammunition. Just like Y2K...
It's coming.
It's coming much like Star Wars 1: The Phantom Menace, with its hordes of fans waiting on and camping out upon concrete sidewalks wrapped around movie theaters, dressed up like Darth Vader and wielding light sabers, exchanging a sleepless night for a promised ticket into the opening prequel of a pre-trilogy (which featured our culture's most hated character ever - Jar Jar). Just like Star Wars 1...
It's coming.
It's coming much like the downfall of Macaulay Culkin, with his instant, worldwide stardom as an 8-year-old in Home Alone, his follow-up flops and bad career decisions, his late night alcohol and drug binges as an 11-year-old, and the fact that he is named Macaulay (who names their kid "Macaulay"?). Just like the downfall of Macaulay Culkin...
It's coming. In 2.5 weeks the Madness of May begins. One a day for all of May.
(And whatever happened to Jonathan Taylor Thomas???)
It's coming.
It's coming much like Y2K came and went, with all of its anticipatory pomp, all of its promised apocalyptic chaos, all of its immanent destruction only to let the world down after having compiled storehouses of vienna sausages, bottled water, and ammunition. Just like Y2K...
It's coming.
It's coming much like Star Wars 1: The Phantom Menace, with its hordes of fans waiting on and camping out upon concrete sidewalks wrapped around movie theaters, dressed up like Darth Vader and wielding light sabers, exchanging a sleepless night for a promised ticket into the opening prequel of a pre-trilogy (which featured our culture's most hated character ever - Jar Jar). Just like Star Wars 1...
It's coming.
It's coming much like the downfall of Macaulay Culkin, with his instant, worldwide stardom as an 8-year-old in Home Alone, his follow-up flops and bad career decisions, his late night alcohol and drug binges as an 11-year-old, and the fact that he is named Macaulay (who names their kid "Macaulay"?). Just like the downfall of Macaulay Culkin...
It's coming. In 2.5 weeks the Madness of May begins. One a day for all of May.
(And whatever happened to Jonathan Taylor Thomas???)
Thursday, April 03, 2008
Thought for Food
Sea Monkeys. Think about that for a little bit. See if that doesn't blow your mind after a while. It's like trying to think of one hand clapping. Or eternity. Or the borders of the universe. Or Crystal Pepsi. Or Sprite Remix. Or The Tony Danza Show.
Sea Monkeys. I looked up a few videos on YouTube yesterday about these interesting little things. They are real, aquatic animals that you can purchase. However, you don't bring them home from a petstore in a plastic bag filled with water. You buy a pouch of powder. Like Crystal Light (not Crystal Pepsi) packages that you dump into a pitcher of water. Sea Monkey powder. And before you know it - the powder mixes with the water and turns into living, breathing, moving underwater monkeys. I'm not sure if I had any of these Sea Monkeys growing up. But now I really want some.
Why Sea Monkeys? Who chose that name?
Did you know that Manatees are sometimes referred to as Sea Cows? What would happen if Sea Monkeys and Sea Cows were swimming in the same Sea? See? Do Sea Monkeys eat Sea Weed? Or do they smoke Sea Weed?
You also have Sea Lions. I'm pretty sure Sea Lions create Sea Seeds. And listen to Seal. And eat Sea Seals.
What about Sea Badgers? Do they exist? Do Sea Badgers make seeds? Sea Seeds? Do Sea Badgers smoke Sea Weed?
I'm pretty sure Tony Danza smokes Sea Weed.
Sea Monkeys. I looked up a few videos on YouTube yesterday about these interesting little things. They are real, aquatic animals that you can purchase. However, you don't bring them home from a petstore in a plastic bag filled with water. You buy a pouch of powder. Like Crystal Light (not Crystal Pepsi) packages that you dump into a pitcher of water. Sea Monkey powder. And before you know it - the powder mixes with the water and turns into living, breathing, moving underwater monkeys. I'm not sure if I had any of these Sea Monkeys growing up. But now I really want some.
Why Sea Monkeys? Who chose that name?
Did you know that Manatees are sometimes referred to as Sea Cows? What would happen if Sea Monkeys and Sea Cows were swimming in the same Sea? See? Do Sea Monkeys eat Sea Weed? Or do they smoke Sea Weed?
You also have Sea Lions. I'm pretty sure Sea Lions create Sea Seeds. And listen to Seal. And eat Sea Seals.
What about Sea Badgers? Do they exist? Do Sea Badgers make seeds? Sea Seeds? Do Sea Badgers smoke Sea Weed?
I'm pretty sure Tony Danza smokes Sea Weed.
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