Day 9. My entire body looks like this guy's arms. And how I wish I looked this like guy.
The worst thing about poison ivy is that it impairs sleep. Last night I was up till 3:30 scratching. I eventually poured myself a glass of bourbon (not joking) in hopes that my senses would dull long enough for me to go to sleep. This monster is unbearably miserable.
I was outside the other day talking with some students. We were lounging around on some lawn chairs that sit outside of my house on this little patio looking thing. Keep in mind that I'm covered in reddish, itchy bubbles.
Here is my question - What happens to mosquitos when bite poison ivy victims? They are sticking their little needle-like mouths directly into poison-filled puss bubbles. They are swallowing the poison ivy oil. Does this mean they get it? Do their tiny throats get encrusted with itchy bumps? Or do they get it on their outer body? Their wings? Their legs? Or are they immune to it?
While we were outside talking we saw a slug making his way from one side of the patio to the other. This is simply a sidenote but what a terrible and unfortunate insect. It has no protection. At least a snail can scurry up into its shell. A slug has nothing. It is just out there and exposed for all. It moves about as slow as my mother drives and it has no means for protection. No exoskeleton. No claws or teeth. Nothing. It is worthless and completely unable to protect itself. Even salt kills it. Salt. If salt kills it, it stands no chance in the food chain. These are my thoughts on slugs. Back to the lecture at hand (perfection is perfected so I'm a let 'em understand, from a young g's perspective).
Poison Ivy is diabolical enough to have a Batman villian named after it.
Poison Ivy is hazardous enough to have "poison" in its title.
Poison Ivy is kind enough to not discriminate. It will poison anything and any body.
Poison Ivy is dominating and ruining my life as we speak (or type (or read)).
3 comments:
SUCKS YOU GOT THAT POISON IVY MAN. I HEARD ONCE ABOUT A NASCAR DRIVER WHO GOT IT BAD UNDER HIS FIRESUIT. NASCARS THE BEST! DAMN I TELL YOU WHAT THAT DALE JARRET AND RUSTY W ARE THE BEST THEY GO SO FAST THEY DONT EVEN THINK ABOUT IT CAUSE THE ENGINE IS GOING SO HARD. SHIT MAN IF I HAD ONE OF THEM LARGE BORE INJECTORS ON MY 88 ID BE GOIN UP TO THE LAKE IN ABOUT A 6.3 IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN! THAT NUMBER 38 GONNA STEAL THE SHOW IN TALLADEGA WITH THE NEW TITANIUM REGULATOR CAP HES RUNNIN. NASCAR!
Ditto on the P. Ivy sentiments, bra'. I got me some poison ivy about a week and a half ago and it's eating me up. Nightime is the worse. It feels like my skin is crawling.
I would recommend getting an arse shot and some steroids from your local medicine man. I got a shot today and some 'roids to boot. So far things have been MUCH better.
I found the same picture of the guy with red arms on Google when I looked up Poison Ivy. Trippy.
One thing about poison ivy is that it isn't poisonous if you eat it. I mean, just imagine if they wanted to poison the king and they tried to feed him poison ivy. It wouldn't work!
But maybe they - the prince who hates the king because he sleeps with the queen - gave him some poison ivy to wash up with. IT WOULDN'T KILL HIM!
The prince would be disappointed, would try to invent some other "poison" things - poison soap, poison wood, poison tipped arrow (which would have worked!), but he wouldn't have time because he has his head cut off real real soon.
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