Memoirs and Memories

In lieu of saying phrases like "in lieu" and attempting to think a bit more adult-like these days, I thought it would be worth spending some time and reflection on the days of yesteryear. This idea hit me this morning as I stood in my disgusting bathtub taking a shower. The water doesn't run directly down the drain. It gathers and stagnates, making an ankle-deep bath as well as a shower. I like the thought of that. It is like two in one. Shower and bath. If you take a long enough shower, you really could lie down in it and the water would keep flowing from above.

So as I turn off the faucets and reach for a nearby towel, I notice the little tornado forming as the draining water made its way out of the tub. That little cyclone used to fascinate me. I used to think that if the drain was big enough, it would be this huge whirl pool and you could get sucked down it. And so there I stood, naked and captivated by the swirling water this morning. And it brought me back to my youth. The memories began to flood.

I remembered sleep overs and taking advantage of that first victim who actually fell asleep first. I remembered submerging his fingers in hot and cold water to make him wet himself. For some reason the biggest thrill was simply tickling his nose. In his sleep he would reach up and clumsily scratch and wipe while we would be on the ground, cupping our hands with our mouth trying not to lose it. The older I got, the more extreme the punishments. We'd pour freezing water on them. We'd violently push them out of the bed. We'd sprinkle things on them that we shouldn't have. Ask Corbin.

And as I watched that water drain, I remembered catching frogs and sticking fireworks up their, well...you know. Nothing thrilled us more than watching a frog get dismembered into pieces by a carefully inserted explosive. I remembered hunting snakes and beheading them with nearby rocks. It makes you wonder why more boys don't grow up to become more violent. Or at least, it makes you wonder why I didn't.

I remembered starting fires in my neighborhood. I actually went into my neighbor's yard, lit a zippo lighter, and placed it to the bark. When the impending fire engine got loud enough to hear, we would scatter. And we would hide behind our houses until our parents found us and forced us to talk with the authorities. Why weren't we arrested? Good night.

I remembered stealing people's filled plastic trash bags, taking them to the railroad tracks and lighting them on fire. I remembered stealing paint cans out of people's garages, busting the tops off, and running through the streets letting the paint fall where it would. I remembered the prank calls. You know, the awful ones that were possible before caller id. Back before *69 was a threat too.

And so there I stood, naked and fixated on the little water cyclone. And it made me wonder how in the world I got there. And why in the world I would be getting married.

Please begin praying for Kathryn now.