After a good 2 month blog-free vacation, I feel rested, refreshed, and ready to begin collecting my observations and ideas about the world around me. With the real writers strike being officially over now, I feel compelled to begin writing myself. If they can quit striking, so can I. Quit the strike. Strike the strike. Sprite.
Thesis: My dad got me a flashlight for Christmas. Not just any flashlight, mind you. This is a flashlight that does not use batteries. This flashlight is powered by a simple crank that is...well....cranked - somehow powering this interesting little device and enabling it to emit light. Is that all it does? No. It also has a radio in it. That way when the power is out, one can still stay updated with weather reports (all the while cranking it, of course). You may think....surely this is all that this device does? You'd be wrong. It also charges your cell phone. So when the power is out and the house is dark and the feeling of uncertainty is the highest - you can illuminate a room, stay in touch with news updates, and call loved ones to inform them of your safety. It is the perfect apocalyptic, Y2K gizmo.
But to me, the most interesting part about this contraption isn't what all it does....it is the name of this product. It's actual, official name is "The Forever Flashlight EZ Crank Radio Cell Charger." In case you haven't put it together, the name is basically just a list of everything that it is capable of doing. Reading the instructions is actually quite humorous. "When an emergency arises, simply turn the crank on the Forever Flashlight EZ Crank Radio Cell Charger to power it." Another excerpt: "No batteries are needed for the Forever Flashlight EZ Crank Radio Cell Charger." How about a product with a little bit longer name?
I wonder what life would be like if we simply named things by an exhaustive list of what it accomplished. Take a car for example. How about changing its name from "car" to "The EZ Move-Along While Sitting and Listening and Being Air-Conditioned Transporter." Or how about changing the name of "phone" to "The EZ Button-Pushing Communication Device That Goes In and Out of Coverage in Charlotte." What about "book" - "The EZ Multi-paged Flipping Paper Weight with Information In It."
Conclusion: It's good to be back, although I will be honest...I feel a bit rusty. And crusty. And dusty. Trust me. Justly. Busty? Sushi.
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4 comments:
Yes - we are a marketing society. Maybe I'll change my name to fit the trend. I certainly don't want to be called EZ Amy. Maybe I'll be "Fun Loving Austin Wife and Mother, Excellent Multi-tasker, Travel Wishing, Always Seeking Extreme Organization Woman" I'll need some time to really work on this....
Thanks for striking the strike, it's great to have you back. Well, gotta go throw on some multi-colored pieces of fabric of differing sizes and shapes made from varying types of material meant to cover the body. Then perhaps I will go to the establishment where I perform a service and receive cash benefits in return all the while hating what I am doing and wishing I was somewhere else. Somewhere else with you might I add.
I'm glad you're back. Now if you could just talk to my husband about what it means to have a blog and the responsibilities that come with it...
"Quit the strike. Strike the strike. Sprite." This was incredibly funny, funnier even than the body...I laughed so loud and tried to tell mary but she could not understand what I said...That was the second time I laughed hard involving you...this morning was a good food chapel. I like laughing with you, and I am glad we do it often...I do not look forward to not being able to do it as often.
DK
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