Captain Hook

on ea da yfo th emon tho fma y

One of the most famous (infamous) villains in all of American folklore is Captain Hook. He is the Captain of a boat which, mind you, is a very lucrative position. He is at the upper echelon of the nautical hierarchy. He is prominent, prestigious, and popular. And yet for all of his pedigree, he is...well....unfortunately maimed.

Apparently it was the work of some crocodile (or alligator) that chewed off his hand. And his chosen substitute of this gnarled appendage was....a hook. Poor choice.

You don't have to see Arrested Development to discover that this is not the most efficient prosthetic. How is one supposed to peel a banana? Or pop the top on a coke can? Or pick your nose? Or check your email? Or perform open heart surgery?

But, on the other hand (pun), there is at least one benefit to possessing a hook appendage: You can't get tricked in one of those Chinese finger traps.