Check it Out Yourself

OnE A dAy fOr All Of mAy

One of the most frustrating things about grocery shopping is the "Check it Out Yourself" aisles. I am usually in a hurry (which should inform you that something is probably very wrong with me). You rush in to the parking lot to find the best spot. You hustle into the store. You quickly and efficiently navigate the aisles for your only-on-my-list items. You are making great timing. One last step. You file into the line waiting to use the self-checkout machines. And the speed of your experience just got wrenched into a sudden and aggravating stop.

People don't know how to grocery shop and self-checkout in a society, I've come to realize. And they don't really understand the concept of courtesy to your fellow shoppers behind you, waiting to use that very machine. They treat it like it is an arcade game or something - "When I've had my fun, then you can take a turn." There is really no awareness of other people relying on their speed to get out and along with their day.

And when they do slumberly and sluggishly decide to start scanning their products, they can't figure it out. They're flipping their item every which way to find the barcode, when it is visibly ON THE BOTTOM. I can see it from way back her, Mister. Why can't you? And when they do figure it out, they slowly slide it over the scanner thing, only to have it not work time and time again. So after a while they get confused or frustrated and give up. Then they turn their attention to the attendant for help...only the attendant is busy trying to help someone else "check it out themselves" because that person, too, is an idiot.

Am I mad about this? Yes. Am I crossing the line here? Probably. Do I think that America is ready to "Check it Out Yourself"? No. No, we are not ready. Obviously, not. At the very least there should be some sort of standards for who can operate these "confusing" machines. There should be a hierarchy (like Sam's Club does it) and only the Golden Elite Members can operate the self-checkout machinery. They are efficient and they know what they are doing.

But as for the rest of you, please wait in line to have the humans help you.