Couch Cushion

One a day for all of May

There is a common domestic strategy for cleaning up those unwanted spills on your couch cushion - you flip the cushion over to the other side. What once was the blemished fabric of a rorschach-esque wine splot, is now the purified, back-to-normal fabric - courtesy of the cushion's clean underbelly.

Gross on one side, clean on the other. Flip it. And now you retain the respect of your neighbors.

What an American solution, now that I think about it. Let's not actually fix the problem. Let's not remove the stain. Let's just hide it. Let's preserve the image over preserving the couch. Let's make sure that what other people see is clean, even though beneath it all is utter filth. Let's smile and pretend. Let's start more sentences with "Let's."

If only all other problems could be solved by a simple flip. Imagine how the world would benefit: You eat that rueben too hastily and get mustard on your new neck-tie. Flip it. Problem solved. You get that white, cakey, dried toothpaste residue on your lips that you can't seem to get rid of no matter how many times you lick your lips. Flip it. Problem solved. You step in a mound of dog excrement. Flip it. Problem solved.

Flip it.