Check Please

oNe a DaY FoR aLL oF MaY.

I have never been very secure as a tipper. What I mean by that is - I always feel a bit awkward when it comes to filling out the "Gratuity" line on the bill at a restaurant. It makes me uncomfortable. What is going to be insulting? What is going to be gratuitously generous? I have been told that 15% is the average. But that always feels too minimal. Why am I so insecure?

My insecurity flares into hyper-insecurity (that is borderline dangerous) when it comes to take-out or pick-up orders. You go the restaurant, wait at the designated "pick up" line, pay for your meal which has been nicely wrapped up for you in a bag, and then it is time to fill out the check. And there is that haunting line. Gratuity. Now, who in the world is supposed to receive this tip? The guy at the register? Should he really get 15% for handing me a bag of food? I think not. So I don't tip. I'm not eating there. Nobody is serving me. This makes sense. What doesn't make sense to me is the feeling of guilt that I have when I hand the check back to the register guy. That makes no sense to me. Should I really let this 16 year old summer intern make me feel guilty for not tipping him for something he didn't do?

Oh, the guilt. If only I believed the gospel.