I Don't Mean to be Mean

'I mean' is the new 'um.' Everyone uses this little grammatical air-filler and no one even recognizes that they are doing it. In the 80s and 90s, the air-filler was 'like.' While it got pawned off on Valley Girl stereotypes, everyone used it to fill out their otherwise dull sentences. "So I was like going to the store and I like bought an avacado." Somewhere along the line of time, "um" took over. ("Um" can be substituted for its close cousin "uhh.") If you ever can't think of what to say next, throw a little 'um' in there. Maybe the motivation was because the thought of silence was too unbearable. Too awkward perhaps. Or perhaps we fill up the dead space because we don't know what to say next but we want the "floor" still. In other words, we don't know what to say but we don't want the person we are speaking (or not speaking) with to interject with something. We want the opportunity to speak even though we have no idea what to actually say. So we say 'um.' But now, 'like' and 'um' have been replaced with the preface of all prefaces: I mean.

"I mean, I was thinking that I would clear up this ear infection, I mean, maybe this Tuesday or Wednesday." I use this all the time. Why? Is it for the same reason as the 'like' and 'um' above? It doesn't really feel like a space filler. It is completely extraneous. It is this little preface stuck in there over and over. I mean, what is it that we are prefacing? Do we really want the other person to know that I sincerely mean this? Maybe it means, 'Listen, I REALLY mean this, so pay attention.' Or perhaps the emphasis is on me. 'I, me, Mr. Howell means this, so pay attention.' Unfortunately 'I mean' means neither. I don't know what it means but it doesn't mean that. I don't mean to be mean but 'I mean' means nothing to me, and yet I use it more than anyone.