Literacy is Overrated

Of all the songs to be memorized by the American populace, why in the world was it Baby Got Back?

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Kathryn randomly said this at the kitchen table the other day, "We should try chewing food up for each other sometime." It is utterances like those that confirm that she is the one.

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How do children, who believe the whole "stork theory" concerning babies, make sense of their mother's bulging stomach? How does that reconcile with a bird swooping by and just dropping a baby down from the sky?

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I'm no chemist, but how does blowing on food cool it down? Especially when you consider that your breath is hot?

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For some strange reason I've been thinking through the lyrics of 'Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer' as of late. This song makes no sense to me. Rudolf, for whatever reason, has a red glowing blemish of a nose and is completely marginilazed within his little reindeer culture. The others "laugh and call him names" and forbid him from joining them in their "reindeer games." (What would a reindeer game look like? Odd. Simply odd.) So Rudolph is this total loser. Ok, fine. So far so good. And then Santa comes along and chooses Rudolf to be the frontman of his sleigh, mostly because Rudolph's enormous blemish of a nose can be used as some sort of headlight. And so Santa's utterly pragmatic selection of Rudolph causes all of the other reindeer to have a change of heart. They suddenly "love him" to the point that they actually "shout with glee." Furthermore, they announce that Santa's selection will "go down in history." What could possibly account for this change of heart? Santa needs a new headlight and now suddenly Rudolph, the biggest loser in all of reindeerdom, is the big man on campus? How could he be so hated one moment and so loved the next? If I were one of the cool, hateful reindeers, I would think that his being Santa's headlight would be reason for more insult. I don't know. Maybe that's just me.