May Madness

You have heard about March Madness. I'm sure you have. If you haven't, then you have issues.
But you most likely have not heard about May Madness. This "madness" is a bit different for two reasons:
1) May Madness is not in March
2) May Madness has nothing to do with college basketball

The Madness of May will be more or less a publicity stunt/personal challenge for me as a blogger. I pledge to blog once a day for the entire month of May. Nothing big. Nothing long. Just the first thought of the morning. I will wake up, go to the computer, sign in to the blogger account, and write. Every morning. All month long. Madness.

I was reading about a musician who wrote/recorded a song every day for an entire year. It was an album of 365 songs. I really liked that idea. Seeing how I could never do that as a musician, I thought, I could certainly do that as a blogger. But certainly not for an entire year. So I limited myself to an entire month. Madness.

Therefore, keep your eyes peeled...stay on the edge of your seats....eat some pop-tarts....because May Madness approaches. And it is going to be maddening. And May-ening.

IRS = I'm Really Stupid

I love getting mail. I'll be the first to admit (maybe a close second) that I check my email periodically throughout the day. I love being the first one home at the end of the day to be the one to gather the various envelopes and coupon booklets from our little mail box. I love personal letters to me the most. Especially from our government.

The IRS wrote me a personal letter today. They kindly informed me that I did my taxes incorrectly WAY back there in 2005 and they want to "settle up." Unaware of just what my friends over there at the IRS were talking about, I recruited a friend (Brent Corbin) who knew a little bit more about their lingo. And in fact, it turns out that my government friends were right after all and that I did owe them a bit of money. I was glad to write that check today. I drew a smiley face on it. I wanted to let them know that I appreciated their meticulous attention to detail.

But here is what I don't understand. They sent me this "letter" with the various boxes that they had information for and compared those boxes with what I filled in. So, they have all the information they need. They have all the forms, files, data, and information available to them and they just compare their numbers with mine. Mine, apparently, were wrong. But why did I have to give them my numbers in the first place?? They already have them. If they are simply comparing the "right" answers (theirs) with mine, why not save a step and just have their, right answers? What is the point in me giving up an entire weekend of my life to crunch numbers, comb through confusing forms, and come up with some document that they already possess? Is this just some elaborate civil test of my ethics? I honestly don't understand the point.

But again, I obviously don't understand the whole system anyway, given that my governmental friends are kindly sending me personal letters that essentially say, "Pay us what you owe now or we will severely screw up the rest of your life."

Punching the Spike

You don't hear too much about punch being spiked anymore. I think that was an 80s fad. Come to think of it, it was more like an 80s television/movie fad. I watched plenty of sitcoms where a beloved character inadvertently finds himself/herself at a party, pours a few glasses of red fruit punch from a large bowl, and only finds out later that the punch had been, in fact, spiked. I think the character somehow ran into his/her parents while still inebriated, got a stern talking to, and the moral of the story was - don't go to parties where they have punch (because there is always a chance it could be spiked). This was a big deal in the 80s. It was the fall back episode if you ran out of ideas. It was - Let's put so-and-so in a situation where he has to drink red fruit punch...and we'll have somebody spike it!

I can count on one hand how many parties I've been to in my entire life where there was actually a bowl of punch available. Why did these people in the 80s think that we drink punch so much? It certainly is not my go-to beverage. Has anyone ever spiked something other than punch? Would anyone bring a funnel and siphon the liquor into a 2-liter of Sprite? Why is punch the only drink vulnerable to being spiked? Furthermore, who would want to waste their own money by buying a bottle of liquor and dumping into a vat of punch? Is the pay off really worth it to see all of your buddies get schlitzed? I don't even know if the act of punch-spiking is a devious-mean thing or if it is a let's-get-this-party-started thing. My memories of 80s sitcoms and movies aren't clear enough.

All I know is, the next time I am at a party where there is an enormous tub of red fruit punch, I'm going to leave the party immediately, hit a local liquor store, come back to the party, and straight up spike it. Someone has to keep this tradition going. I fear that it is dying out with our generation. Or maybe nobody drinks punch anymore, you know, because it is so disgusting.

Year in Review

April 8th, 2006. An entire year has slipped by since we exchanged our vows. Kathryn was beautiful and has only gotten more so. I, on the other hand, think that was the best I may ever look. And it wasn't that great. Our friends and family made the long hike out to Memphis, TN to be witnesses for our covenantal union. We danced all night. We ate like kings. It was a long and exhausting weekend. I was forced to get on stage and freestyle rap at my own reception. Aside from that, it was a wonderful time. The worst part about it was the lack of time to spend and catch up with everyone.

After 365 consecutive days of married-life, here are some stats/lessons learned upon looking back over the year:

- I think I have only shaved 3 or 4 times since we got married. I'm not lying, I'm just very, very lazy.
- The envelope system worked for about 1.5 months for us.
- I've learned that I enjoy folding laundry. It is my favorite chore.
- Kathyrn is a really good cook.
-Thank you notes don't make you grateful. They actually upset you that people gave you stuff that you now have to thank them for. They remind me of the Mosaic law - they are good but when they meet with me they are sin-intensifying.
- Corporate America is very scary. People are certainly not as kind as they are in the world of ministry and service.
- I'm thankful Kathryn loves to have fresh muffins/cakes/baked goods around often.
- The pollen in Charlotte is plague-like. Allergies have been dreadful.
- Kathryn is better at fighting than me.
- We love to grill (thank you to the groomsmen).
- One thing that has made marriage somewhat easier - We eat dinner together every night and we go to sleep together at the same time.
- On that note, I steal covers.
- We love to do Sudoku's together.
- Kathryn enjoys exercising and being outdoors much more than I do. I would be content to sleep all day.
- Kathryn has acquired about 40+ nicknames from me over the past year. My personal favorite: "Poop stain."

Good year. One down. Lots to go.