When Chances Diet

I realized something very interesting today. Something very interesting indeed....

A "friend of mine" (who will go unnamed) invited me to go out to lunch with him and a group of people. I knew that I had some things to do that afternoon so I wanted to communicate to this (unnamed) "friend" that there was a possibility that I would show up. And, I might add, it was a pretty good possibility. So I said to this "friend" (Dave Kulp), "There is a...fat chance that I will be going."

As soon as this sentence left my lips I realized that I had misspoken. A "fat chance" seems to imply that there is not much of a chance in me going. So I corrected myself and said the exact opposite, "I mean, there is a...slim chance that I will be going."

And of course, this didn't really correct my previous statement. I still implied that the chances were low for me going out to lunch. Hmmm. Fat chance. Slim chance. I guess it doesn't really matter the exact "weight" of the chance, as soon as you designate it, you mean, "There is not much of a chance in me going." Next time I am going to say, "There is a moderately-sized-average-weight chance that I am going." This should get across what I mean.

Honestly people, how can a chance be "fat" anyway? Maybe the word people are really pronouncing is "phat." Remember when that was cool...to say "phat?" What happened to this linguistic gem? Will it come around and be cool again? Phat chance.