Every so often I take the time to actually observe the world around me. This happens about once or twice a month. Well, that is actually being a bit liberal. Maybe two or three times every two months. Perhaps that is a bit conservative. Or moderate. But that is not the point. The point is that every now and then I take the time to observe. Here are some of my observations. And reservations.
1. People can't walk any more alone. By this I mean, they can't walk without being on a cell phone. Very rarely do you actually see somebody just walking. Not talking. We are so afraid to be alone for some reason. Must talk to someone. Anyone. I don't care. I have to talk to somebody right this second. Either that or we are so freaking insecure about looking like we are losers. If we are at least talking to somebody we are cool and connected to a social world. But the opposite is really the case. Enjoy a nice, peaceful, quiet walk. Put the freaking cell phone down for a minute.
2. Fashion has made the cycle back around and now we find people propping up their shirt collars. I won't comment any further on the absolute ridiculousness of this social trend.
3. Gas prices are at an all time high. SUVs are still the most coveted vehicles. This is the culture shooting itself in the foot in my opinion.
4. Pit stains should be in style. That way we wouldn't be so worried about them. I realize that this is not an "observation" but I felt like it needed to be on the list.
5. People are ready to have sex at 13 and the culture tells them not to get married until they are 30. The battle for purity is already lost with that paradigm. (This one was provided by every thoughtful RUF campus minister out there.)
6. Facebook and Friendster and virtual friendship networks are all the craze these days. Why though? What is the obsession we have with collecting "friends?" Having 450 virtual "friends" basically means that you have zero actual friends. There is no such thing as an internet friendship. It is a contradiction in terms.
7. No one, and I mean absolutely no one, knows what the War of 1812 was about. Including me.
8. Wendy's has not been selling as much chili this past week. My guess is that chili will be removed from their menu. You know, with the whole finger incident.
9. Anyone who says that they prefer coffee black is a liar. And anyone who hangs out in coffee shops is pretentious. There is a nice, hipster coffee shop hangout here in Baton Rouge and in front of it was parked a truck with a bumper sticker on it that read, "Friends don't let friends drink Starbucks." Starbucks began as this artsy, hipster coffee shop in Seattle and blew up into the commercial megacorporation that it is. Only when something is weird and uncool is it really cool in this culture. And when that weird uncool thing becomes popular, it is actually then truly uncool. This truck driver is rebelling from the rebellion. It's just so silly to me. It's freaking coffee. No one really likes it anyway. People just want to look and feel bohemian.
10. Everyone needs a laptop. Ask them. They'll tell you. They'll say, "Yeah, I really need to get one." If they don't have one, they are looking for one. If they have one, they will let you know why it is the greatest machine on earth and why you have to have their exact one. We walk by people using them and drool with envy. Or we sit behind them and laugh to ourselves when the drooling, envious people walk by. For some reason we have convinced ourself that this luxury is now a necessity. It is the thing that now divides us. We are grouped into two peopl: those that have them and those that don't. I am still in the second group. But I need one.
Tuesday, March 29, 2005
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
Cell Phones and Irate People
Ok, ok, so feel on this. I'm at the gas station last Monday, you know, giving the car the old heave ho (fill up). I'm standing there pumping my gas and in an effort to be efficient, I decided to call a friend via cellular telephone (perhaps you have heard of these). I'm now pumping AND talking, doing two things at once as opposed to doing one thing at once.
Suddenly the woman pumping gas next to me begins yelling at me. I didn't make out what she was saying at first as I am not accustomed to being spoken to, much less yelled at, by strangers at gas stations. And afterall, I was on the phone. I eventually turned around to hear the commotion and now a man (who was also pumping his gas) joined the woman in the shouting. They were yelling, "Get off the phone! Get off the phone!!" The panic in their voice quickly alarmed me.
"What?" I asked them, pulling the receiver end of the phone away from my mouth but the listeny part was still up against my ear. "What are you talking about?" I pled ignorance. But I knew exactly why they were yelling I just was so completely baffled that someone, nay, some two people were actually yelling at me because of it.
"You will cause an explosion!! Back away from the car!!" And the man was ushering me away from the pump with his hand. "What are you talking about? 'Cause an explosion?' What in the world?" I was upset by now that they were making such a big deal about it. It was like they were imagining me holding a flaming torch instead of a little, plastic, cell phone.
"The sparks will cause an explosion! It's been documented!! Get off the f*#%in' phone!!!!!!" Now honestly, help me out here people. Sure, sure, I have seen the 20/20 episode where they did a deal on a case where a woman on her cell phone at a gas station caused a fire (not an explosion). This one freak incident now apparently warrants the claim that explosions are caused by cell phones and that they have been "documented." Give me a freaking break. I have never seen sparks fly from my cell phone. I have talked at the pump many a time and have seen no explosions. Why all the fuss people?
I wanted to say, "Holy S&#%!!! Take off your digital watch!! Oh my God!! It will cause a freaking explosion!!" Or maybe I should have said, "Holy crap!! Don't pull your car into a gas station it will cause an explosion!! Don't you know all the wires and engine heat under the hood could cause an EXPLOSION!!!!" But I didn't say any of that. I simply gave him and the frantic woman a dirty look and kept talking.
Suddenly the woman pumping gas next to me begins yelling at me. I didn't make out what she was saying at first as I am not accustomed to being spoken to, much less yelled at, by strangers at gas stations. And afterall, I was on the phone. I eventually turned around to hear the commotion and now a man (who was also pumping his gas) joined the woman in the shouting. They were yelling, "Get off the phone! Get off the phone!!" The panic in their voice quickly alarmed me.
"What?" I asked them, pulling the receiver end of the phone away from my mouth but the listeny part was still up against my ear. "What are you talking about?" I pled ignorance. But I knew exactly why they were yelling I just was so completely baffled that someone, nay, some two people were actually yelling at me because of it.
"You will cause an explosion!! Back away from the car!!" And the man was ushering me away from the pump with his hand. "What are you talking about? 'Cause an explosion?' What in the world?" I was upset by now that they were making such a big deal about it. It was like they were imagining me holding a flaming torch instead of a little, plastic, cell phone.
"The sparks will cause an explosion! It's been documented!! Get off the f*#%in' phone!!!!!!" Now honestly, help me out here people. Sure, sure, I have seen the 20/20 episode where they did a deal on a case where a woman on her cell phone at a gas station caused a fire (not an explosion). This one freak incident now apparently warrants the claim that explosions are caused by cell phones and that they have been "documented." Give me a freaking break. I have never seen sparks fly from my cell phone. I have talked at the pump many a time and have seen no explosions. Why all the fuss people?
I wanted to say, "Holy S&#%!!! Take off your digital watch!! Oh my God!! It will cause a freaking explosion!!" Or maybe I should have said, "Holy crap!! Don't pull your car into a gas station it will cause an explosion!! Don't you know all the wires and engine heat under the hood could cause an EXPLOSION!!!!" But I didn't say any of that. I simply gave him and the frantic woman a dirty look and kept talking.
Friday, March 18, 2005
Your anger with me is only self-defeating
I have recently been the victimized subject of much hatred and disappointment from several emails and blog comments. They all have to do with my lack of updating this stupid site. First of all, what in the world are you expecting from me? The fact that you actually read other people's blogs as regularly as you do might point to a greater problem. Read a book if you are going to read. There are some good ones out there I hear. Second, Ok, I don't really have a second. Third, I apologize for my little outburst there. I should have learned by now that you never encourage your audience to continue reading if'n you insult them for doing so. Forgive me.
All that to say, the hostility that I have been receiving as of late is unjustified and furthermore, is self-defeating. For all the philosophy geeks, members of the Intellectually-Proud-and-Reformed-Theological-Legalists-and-Pharisees Club (IPRTLPC), and the upscale Wallstreet fat cats, you probably already know what the term "self-defeating" is. For the rest of us who have to consult dictionaries and other sources, let me spell it out.
Self-defeating is the term for an idea or statement that fails to live up to its own standards. For example, the claim, "There is no truth" is self-defeating because the very sentence claims to be true. Or another example, "It is impossible to know anything." Again, the statement seems to imply that you can at least know that the statement is true, defeating its very claim.
So how is your anger with me self-defeating? How does your anger with me for not posting more blogs fold back on itself and crush under its own weight? Well, maybe it doesn't. Maybe your anger with me isn't self-defeating after all.
But here are some things that are:
relativism
skepticism
empiricism
logical positivism
religious pluralism
rationalism
truncation
There are more, I'm sure. I will stop there. Two last thoughts in closing. 1. Read a book. 2. Forgive me.
Pledging to blog more often,
MT Howell
All that to say, the hostility that I have been receiving as of late is unjustified and furthermore, is self-defeating. For all the philosophy geeks, members of the Intellectually-Proud-and-Reformed-Theological-Legalists-and-Pharisees Club (IPRTLPC), and the upscale Wallstreet fat cats, you probably already know what the term "self-defeating" is. For the rest of us who have to consult dictionaries and other sources, let me spell it out.
Self-defeating is the term for an idea or statement that fails to live up to its own standards. For example, the claim, "There is no truth" is self-defeating because the very sentence claims to be true. Or another example, "It is impossible to know anything." Again, the statement seems to imply that you can at least know that the statement is true, defeating its very claim.
So how is your anger with me self-defeating? How does your anger with me for not posting more blogs fold back on itself and crush under its own weight? Well, maybe it doesn't. Maybe your anger with me isn't self-defeating after all.
But here are some things that are:
relativism
skepticism
empiricism
logical positivism
religious pluralism
rationalism
truncation
There are more, I'm sure. I will stop there. Two last thoughts in closing. 1. Read a book. 2. Forgive me.
Pledging to blog more often,
MT Howell
Friday, March 04, 2005
In Alphabetical Order
There are 26 subsequent posts to this one. The 26 subsequent posts are the lyrics and chords of the 26 songs on the latest Matty Matt Sax album - In Alphabetical Order. I hope that the album is appreciated, the music is emulated, and the lyrics are read in utterly helpless admiration. If you want an album, simply write me at trippstclaire@yahoo.com notifying me of your mailing address and how you plan on sending me the 10 dollars it will cost you to purchase an album.
And now...finders keepers:
All Smart People Wear Glasses
Baby Please
Crayons You Left At My House
Do What You Want To
Escape (The Great)
From Phonemes to Morphemes
Goodbyes (f/ Barrett Black)
Hindsight's 20/20
I Could Sing a Song
Just As If I'd Never Sinned (f/ Roy Hubbard)
Krakatauan Puppeteer
Love Must Be in the Air
Maybe If We All Devolved (f/ Eric Bellard)
Nothing is More
Oh Yeah (f/ Holly Booth)
Progress is Slow (f/ Barrett Black)
Quasi-Love
Red Wine and Burger King French Fries
Song
The Sun Has Exploded (f/ Eric Bellard)
Unemployed (it must be nice)
Vodka's To Blame
Without You
Xenophilia
You're In Hate With Me
Zeno's Paradox
...losers weepers
And now...finders keepers:
All Smart People Wear Glasses
Baby Please
Crayons You Left At My House
Do What You Want To
Escape (The Great)
From Phonemes to Morphemes
Goodbyes (f/ Barrett Black)
Hindsight's 20/20
I Could Sing a Song
Just As If I'd Never Sinned (f/ Roy Hubbard)
Krakatauan Puppeteer
Love Must Be in the Air
Maybe If We All Devolved (f/ Eric Bellard)
Nothing is More
Oh Yeah (f/ Holly Booth)
Progress is Slow (f/ Barrett Black)
Quasi-Love
Red Wine and Burger King French Fries
Song
The Sun Has Exploded (f/ Eric Bellard)
Unemployed (it must be nice)
Vodka's To Blame
Without You
Xenophilia
You're In Hate With Me
Zeno's Paradox
...losers weepers
All Smart People Wear Glasses
In Alphabetical Order
a Matty Matt Sax Project
Circa 2005
If you are what you eat, I’m on par with some meat
Charred and petite, the kind of food that makes you fart in your sleep
Pardon me but surely it is hard to believe
That Roseanne Barr and Kareem Abdul Jabar’s in the sheets
I’m starting to speak so listen cause I’m smarter than Eve. (Who?)
You know that broad up in the garden who squeezed
The fruit right off of the tree. I regard it as weak,
Retarded and cheap and dumb to have a guitar at your feet
Strumming chords round the campfire
I’m guarding my teeth I’m like a vampire. I can’t tire
Though I’m swinging more smiles than a tennis racket
Bringing more style than a denim jacket
Minimize the benefactions
Sick of all you men subtracting then contracting syphilis
If licorice is this attractive give it back to Chris and kiss
Your mother on her skin in back but oh no she’s ticklish
Oh no she’s into this. Incest is hit or miss.
Don’t be afraid to say what you mean
The day is serene but I may go and scream at all the latest things
Seen from the table of dreams
I hate the fatigue of trying to have my way with you freaks
Please just erase or delete
Don’t be afraid to mean what you say
I dream of the day that I sleep it away
And though it seems that they believe in the things of the grave
They deceive and they make you think it takes a display to simply make it ok
Went to the doctor and he made me mad
Gave me some drugs and he made me glad
I’m the prudest, Jewish dude in Massachusetts
What’d you really take me as?
Could it be when I pee everybody in the world want to go and take a look at me?
You’re gonna go and take a look at me and her making out in the backseat
We’re getting sweaty like an athlete at a track meet but I’m throwing no javelin
I’m going on traveling deep up in your mind frame unraveling
Sort of like a weave that you see at flea market
Parking, rolling down the windows letting out the steam
Dig around in the cushions; you never know what things you’ll bring to the surface
I’m nervous and I’ll say it to your face that you’re fat on purpose
You deserve it. You’re worthless. Throw you in a furnace hurting burning
Screaming, squeamish, stomach churning, lurching back and forth and swerving
Dedicated to you ladies in the backroom dressed up like sluts but still virgins
So let me go and take the whole verse back I regretted every word I said
Baby, turn your head to the side and ignore what occurred
Instead maybe go and drop a terd in bed.
a Matty Matt Sax Project
Circa 2005
If you are what you eat, I’m on par with some meat
Charred and petite, the kind of food that makes you fart in your sleep
Pardon me but surely it is hard to believe
That Roseanne Barr and Kareem Abdul Jabar’s in the sheets
I’m starting to speak so listen cause I’m smarter than Eve. (Who?)
You know that broad up in the garden who squeezed
The fruit right off of the tree. I regard it as weak,
Retarded and cheap and dumb to have a guitar at your feet
Strumming chords round the campfire
I’m guarding my teeth I’m like a vampire. I can’t tire
Though I’m swinging more smiles than a tennis racket
Bringing more style than a denim jacket
Minimize the benefactions
Sick of all you men subtracting then contracting syphilis
If licorice is this attractive give it back to Chris and kiss
Your mother on her skin in back but oh no she’s ticklish
Oh no she’s into this. Incest is hit or miss.
Don’t be afraid to say what you mean
The day is serene but I may go and scream at all the latest things
Seen from the table of dreams
I hate the fatigue of trying to have my way with you freaks
Please just erase or delete
Don’t be afraid to mean what you say
I dream of the day that I sleep it away
And though it seems that they believe in the things of the grave
They deceive and they make you think it takes a display to simply make it ok
Went to the doctor and he made me mad
Gave me some drugs and he made me glad
I’m the prudest, Jewish dude in Massachusetts
What’d you really take me as?
Could it be when I pee everybody in the world want to go and take a look at me?
You’re gonna go and take a look at me and her making out in the backseat
We’re getting sweaty like an athlete at a track meet but I’m throwing no javelin
I’m going on traveling deep up in your mind frame unraveling
Sort of like a weave that you see at flea market
Parking, rolling down the windows letting out the steam
Dig around in the cushions; you never know what things you’ll bring to the surface
I’m nervous and I’ll say it to your face that you’re fat on purpose
You deserve it. You’re worthless. Throw you in a furnace hurting burning
Screaming, squeamish, stomach churning, lurching back and forth and swerving
Dedicated to you ladies in the backroom dressed up like sluts but still virgins
So let me go and take the whole verse back I regretted every word I said
Baby, turn your head to the side and ignore what occurred
Instead maybe go and drop a terd in bed.
Baby Please
In Alphabetical Order
a Matty Matt Sax Project
Circa 2005
F Am Bb Gm C
My life depends on if we’ll stay together
F Am Bb Gm C
Let’s make amends if not let’s make the effort
Dm Dm/C# Bb C
To decide if you and I are right
F A Dm
Baby I can’t see why you don’t need my love
G Bb
Is this all a game just like everything else?
C
Nobody needs this.
F A Dm Bb
I don’t know why you just throw my love right out the window with my keys
C
Baby please
“Let’s just be friends” is what I hear you saying
These odds and ends just are not worth crocheting
Into some mosaic. Numb my pain.
Baby I can’t see why you don’t need my love
Is this all a game just like everything else?
I don’t believe this.
I don’t know why you just throw my love right out the window with my keys
Baby please
a Matty Matt Sax Project
Circa 2005
F Am Bb Gm C
My life depends on if we’ll stay together
F Am Bb Gm C
Let’s make amends if not let’s make the effort
Dm Dm/C# Bb C
To decide if you and I are right
F A Dm
Baby I can’t see why you don’t need my love
G Bb
Is this all a game just like everything else?
C
Nobody needs this.
F A Dm Bb
I don’t know why you just throw my love right out the window with my keys
C
Baby please
“Let’s just be friends” is what I hear you saying
These odds and ends just are not worth crocheting
Into some mosaic. Numb my pain.
Baby I can’t see why you don’t need my love
Is this all a game just like everything else?
I don’t believe this.
I don’t know why you just throw my love right out the window with my keys
Baby please
Crayons You Left At My House
In Alphabetical Order
a Matty Matt Sax Project
Circa 2005
G Am
You thought it would be fun
D C D
So you came over and brought your
G Am
Old coloring books.
D G
I choose the Aladdin one.
We sat there for some time
Filling in the blank shapes
With various shades
And tried to stay in the lines
D Em C
Two weeks later you called and you
D Em C
Told me that we were done
D Em C
And I haven’t seen you since
(G Em D)
Last year I moved
And came across a few crayons
That were under the couch
A fucia, yellow and blue
I know now that it’s over between
Us all that is left is to
Drink the crayons you left at my house
I held them up to the fire
Melted them in a glass cup
And drank the liquid up
Guess what’s Technicolor.
I know now that it’s over between
Us all that is left is to
Drink the crayons you left at my house
a Matty Matt Sax Project
Circa 2005
G Am
You thought it would be fun
D C D
So you came over and brought your
G Am
Old coloring books.
D G
I choose the Aladdin one.
We sat there for some time
Filling in the blank shapes
With various shades
And tried to stay in the lines
D Em C
Two weeks later you called and you
D Em C
Told me that we were done
D Em C
And I haven’t seen you since
(G Em D)
Last year I moved
And came across a few crayons
That were under the couch
A fucia, yellow and blue
I know now that it’s over between
Us all that is left is to
Drink the crayons you left at my house
I held them up to the fire
Melted them in a glass cup
And drank the liquid up
Guess what’s Technicolor.
I know now that it’s over between
Us all that is left is to
Drink the crayons you left at my house
Do What You Want To
In Alphabetical Order
a Matty Matt Sax Project
Circa 2005
D
Just relax
Bm
Take a breath
G Em A
Everything will work out
D
Take a drink
Bm
Close your eyes
G Em A
Everything will work out
Bm Bm/Bb D A
There’re two ladies in sight and you cannot decide which one is right for you
Bm Bm/Bb A
You ask for my advice but it’s not what you wanted to hear
D
I don’t give a crap
A
I don’t give a rip
Bm
You’re gonna do what you want to
G
Regardless of what I say to
I don’t give a crap
I don’t give a rip
Just go ahead and ruin your life
See if I care if you screw your life up
Round and round we go
No one’s taking it slow
No one’s thinking if this is right
Hearts may break but they’ll heal
Take a break if you feel disliked.
I don’t give a crap
I don’t give a rip
You’re gonna do what you want to
Regardless of what I say to
I don’t give a crap
I don’t give a rip
Just go ahead and ruin your life
See if I care if you screw your life up
D F# G D
G Gm D E
Break down no disrespect
Talk about my girlie gonna break your neck
a Matty Matt Sax Project
Circa 2005
D
Just relax
Bm
Take a breath
G Em A
Everything will work out
D
Take a drink
Bm
Close your eyes
G Em A
Everything will work out
Bm Bm/Bb D A
There’re two ladies in sight and you cannot decide which one is right for you
Bm Bm/Bb A
You ask for my advice but it’s not what you wanted to hear
D
I don’t give a crap
A
I don’t give a rip
Bm
You’re gonna do what you want to
G
Regardless of what I say to
I don’t give a crap
I don’t give a rip
Just go ahead and ruin your life
See if I care if you screw your life up
Round and round we go
No one’s taking it slow
No one’s thinking if this is right
Hearts may break but they’ll heal
Take a break if you feel disliked.
I don’t give a crap
I don’t give a rip
You’re gonna do what you want to
Regardless of what I say to
I don’t give a crap
I don’t give a rip
Just go ahead and ruin your life
See if I care if you screw your life up
D F# G D
G Gm D E
Break down no disrespect
Talk about my girlie gonna break your neck
Escape (The Great)
In Alphabetical Order
a Matty Matt Sax Project
Circa 2005
A F#m D E
We dressed up incognito
A D E
The gold was ours to take
A F#m D E
Creeping in like invitro
D E A
The guards began to shake
C# D?
We tried to hide but we could not deny that the
B E
Lights were too bright to escape
A F#m D E
So we squeezed to fit in the Speedos
D E A
And dove straight into the lake
a Matty Matt Sax Project
Circa 2005
A F#m D E
We dressed up incognito
A D E
The gold was ours to take
A F#m D E
Creeping in like invitro
D E A
The guards began to shake
C# D?
We tried to hide but we could not deny that the
B E
Lights were too bright to escape
A F#m D E
So we squeezed to fit in the Speedos
D E A
And dove straight into the lake
From Phonemes to Morphemes
In Alphabetical Order
a Matty Matt Sax Project
Circa 2005
F Dm
Open your mouth and out flowed
Am Gm C
Garbled, slushy streams of sonic, sonic nonsense
F Dm
With no, with no meter
Am Gm
Or no structure or no definition
C
I can isolate the phrases but they’re not making sense
F Gm
Sonic waves, they come inside
C
I can’t quite yet divide
F
The syntax syllables
Phonetic cues, I override
Linguistics all collide (aside)
Your syntax syllables
Am Bb F
From Phonemes to morphemes
Am Bb F C Dm
Mysterious as this all appears to seem
Am Bb F C Bb F
I somehow derive something meaningful
Shut your eyes and listen close
No boundaries to words we spoke
You can’t discern between
Sentences, phrases and words
Together are slurred
With nothing in between
From Phonemes to morphemes
Mysterious as this all appears to seem
I somehow derive something meaningful
a Matty Matt Sax Project
Circa 2005
F Dm
Open your mouth and out flowed
Am Gm C
Garbled, slushy streams of sonic, sonic nonsense
F Dm
With no, with no meter
Am Gm
Or no structure or no definition
C
I can isolate the phrases but they’re not making sense
F Gm
Sonic waves, they come inside
C
I can’t quite yet divide
F
The syntax syllables
Phonetic cues, I override
Linguistics all collide (aside)
Your syntax syllables
Am Bb F
From Phonemes to morphemes
Am Bb F C Dm
Mysterious as this all appears to seem
Am Bb F C Bb F
I somehow derive something meaningful
Shut your eyes and listen close
No boundaries to words we spoke
You can’t discern between
Sentences, phrases and words
Together are slurred
With nothing in between
From Phonemes to morphemes
Mysterious as this all appears to seem
I somehow derive something meaningful
Goodbyes
In Alphabetical Order
a Matty Matt Sax Project
Circa 2005
Featuring Barrett Black
Em
So this is the end
C
It’s hard to say goodbye
Am
I’m sure we’ll meet again
D
On the other side
It’s been so long
This weary road
We don’t belong
Where we don’t go
I’ve come to realize
As anybody could
That these goodbyes
Contain nothing good
They contain nothing good
a Matty Matt Sax Project
Circa 2005
Featuring Barrett Black
Em
So this is the end
C
It’s hard to say goodbye
Am
I’m sure we’ll meet again
D
On the other side
It’s been so long
This weary road
We don’t belong
Where we don’t go
I’ve come to realize
As anybody could
That these goodbyes
Contain nothing good
They contain nothing good
Hindsight's 20/20
In Alphabetical Order
a Matty Matt Sax Project
Circa 2005
G C
I might sleep away the present
G D
There’s just way too much at stake
Em Em/Eb G A
It hindsight’s 20/20 then I can’t help but think it’s best to wait
C G C G
For the future to come when everything’s done
C Eb D
I’ll know what was supposed to be
I’m so sick of making decisions
Why won’t they just show me the way?
If hindsight’s 20/20 then I just might lie down and try to sleep
The present away and wait for the day
That I can look back clearly
Em C G
We’re trapped in time and space for once it’s feeling nice
Em C D
I will not listen to their advice
Em
Cause they would have me taking a risk
Em/Eb G A C
And I cannot stomach the consequence if I choose wrong
Em C Am D
We’ll see all of the things we did but not this time
We’ll look back either with regret or pride inside
Em
But everything in front of me
Em/Eb
Is pitch black dark and I just cannot see
In front of my face.
I’m running a race with no clue where the finish line is.
We’re trapped in time and space for once it’s feeling nice
I will not listen to their advice
Cause they would have me taking a risk
And I cannot stomach the consequence if I choose wrong
a Matty Matt Sax Project
Circa 2005
G C
I might sleep away the present
G D
There’s just way too much at stake
Em Em/Eb G A
It hindsight’s 20/20 then I can’t help but think it’s best to wait
C G C G
For the future to come when everything’s done
C Eb D
I’ll know what was supposed to be
I’m so sick of making decisions
Why won’t they just show me the way?
If hindsight’s 20/20 then I just might lie down and try to sleep
The present away and wait for the day
That I can look back clearly
Em C G
We’re trapped in time and space for once it’s feeling nice
Em C D
I will not listen to their advice
Em
Cause they would have me taking a risk
Em/Eb G A C
And I cannot stomach the consequence if I choose wrong
Em C Am D
We’ll see all of the things we did but not this time
We’ll look back either with regret or pride inside
Em
But everything in front of me
Em/Eb
Is pitch black dark and I just cannot see
In front of my face.
I’m running a race with no clue where the finish line is.
We’re trapped in time and space for once it’s feeling nice
I will not listen to their advice
Cause they would have me taking a risk
And I cannot stomach the consequence if I choose wrong
I Could Sing a Song
In Alphabetical Order
a Matty Matt Sax Project
Circa 2005
C D Bm
I could sing a song about rainbows
C D G
You’d remind me that it’s rained
C D
But I’d reply
B Em
“Haven’t you seen the sky?”
C D G
And you would just complain
I could sing a song about Paris
You’d say it was dirty and vile
And they gave Iraq guns
And the women don’t shave enough
What must I do for a smile?
C B Em D C D Em
And I know the glass could never be half full
C B Em D C D A
Cause your glass is full of vodka and red bull
I could sing a song about puppies
Kittens and bunny rabbits too
But you’d say they smell
And they annoy the hell
The hell out of you
So I wrote a song about cancer
I threw in a couple lines bout genocide
I knew we were wrong
When you sung along
And tried to harmonize
a Matty Matt Sax Project
Circa 2005
C D Bm
I could sing a song about rainbows
C D G
You’d remind me that it’s rained
C D
But I’d reply
B Em
“Haven’t you seen the sky?”
C D G
And you would just complain
I could sing a song about Paris
You’d say it was dirty and vile
And they gave Iraq guns
And the women don’t shave enough
What must I do for a smile?
C B Em D C D Em
And I know the glass could never be half full
C B Em D C D A
Cause your glass is full of vodka and red bull
I could sing a song about puppies
Kittens and bunny rabbits too
But you’d say they smell
And they annoy the hell
The hell out of you
So I wrote a song about cancer
I threw in a couple lines bout genocide
I knew we were wrong
When you sung along
And tried to harmonize
Just As If I'd Never Sinned
In Alphabetical Order
a Matty Matt Sax Project
Circa 2005
Written with and featuring Roy Hubbard
Many a men have fallen
Thinking they’re worthy of a Christ-like callin’
Spendin’ and laboring, all of their weary souls toiling
Not recognizing that the true Vine calls them
Soon as the triumph comes
Most play the hare when the race not done
The tortoise Sin pounces upon them
Many shrink to despair laden with guilt and heavy burdens
Been down that road a thousand times
Died a thousand deaths; lost a million lives
It took a long time for me to recognize
That only in Christ that I am justified
Em Am G D
Justification:
Em Am G D
Just as if I’d never sinned
Em Am G D
Is what I used to think that meant
Em B Em
Now I know better
The second verse comes harder
So be more thoughtful; be more smarter
No wisdom of man but the wisdom of God-der
The God who baptizes in Spirit and water
A man’s heart is like a leoparda
That can’t change his spots not even sorta
Man can’t justify himself that’s unthought of
Spoken of as evil in the Word of God what!
Chorus
Take a hard look in the mirror
And be more honest; see more clearer
Sin is a part of you but do not fear
Perfect righteousness is much more near
Oh young man so be of good cheer
Blessed are those who mourn so shed those tears
Mourn over your sins present and past years
And claim God’s righteousness in your last years
Have an understanding of the ups and downs
That the Christian walk is not all joys and smiles
Become a servant and then we are found
Justified by him who holds the crown
Chorus
I am a C
I am a C-H
I am a C-H-R-I-S-T-I-A-N
And I have C-H-R-I-S-T in my H-E-A-R-T and I will L-I-V-E E-T-E-R-N-A-L-L-Y
I am a C
I am a C-H
I am a Christian who sings dumb S-O-N-Gs
And all the A-T-H-E-I-S-Ts and A-G-N-O-S-T-I-Cs don’t take M-E S-E-R-I-O-U-S-L-Y
a Matty Matt Sax Project
Circa 2005
Written with and featuring Roy Hubbard
Many a men have fallen
Thinking they’re worthy of a Christ-like callin’
Spendin’ and laboring, all of their weary souls toiling
Not recognizing that the true Vine calls them
Soon as the triumph comes
Most play the hare when the race not done
The tortoise Sin pounces upon them
Many shrink to despair laden with guilt and heavy burdens
Been down that road a thousand times
Died a thousand deaths; lost a million lives
It took a long time for me to recognize
That only in Christ that I am justified
Em Am G D
Justification:
Em Am G D
Just as if I’d never sinned
Em Am G D
Is what I used to think that meant
Em B Em
Now I know better
The second verse comes harder
So be more thoughtful; be more smarter
No wisdom of man but the wisdom of God-der
The God who baptizes in Spirit and water
A man’s heart is like a leoparda
That can’t change his spots not even sorta
Man can’t justify himself that’s unthought of
Spoken of as evil in the Word of God what!
Chorus
Take a hard look in the mirror
And be more honest; see more clearer
Sin is a part of you but do not fear
Perfect righteousness is much more near
Oh young man so be of good cheer
Blessed are those who mourn so shed those tears
Mourn over your sins present and past years
And claim God’s righteousness in your last years
Have an understanding of the ups and downs
That the Christian walk is not all joys and smiles
Become a servant and then we are found
Justified by him who holds the crown
Chorus
I am a C
I am a C-H
I am a C-H-R-I-S-T-I-A-N
And I have C-H-R-I-S-T in my H-E-A-R-T and I will L-I-V-E E-T-E-R-N-A-L-L-Y
I am a C
I am a C-H
I am a Christian who sings dumb S-O-N-Gs
And all the A-T-H-E-I-S-Ts and A-G-N-O-S-T-I-Cs don’t take M-E S-E-R-I-O-U-S-L-Y
Krakatauan Puppeteer
In Alphabetical Order
a Matty Matt Sax Project
Circa 2005
A F#m D E
The Krakatauan Puppeteer came straight from Krakatau – ah
A F#m D E A
But he did not come straight here, he stopped in Minnesota
F#m C#m D E
He learned his skill from Mr. Bellvadeer and Ricky Shroader
A F#m D E
His house was filled with Chandeliers. They called him Casanova.
A F#m D E A
The puppeteer with his veneer: straight from Krakatua - ah
a Matty Matt Sax Project
Circa 2005
A F#m D E
The Krakatauan Puppeteer came straight from Krakatau – ah
A F#m D E A
But he did not come straight here, he stopped in Minnesota
F#m C#m D E
He learned his skill from Mr. Bellvadeer and Ricky Shroader
A F#m D E
His house was filled with Chandeliers. They called him Casanova.
A F#m D E A
The puppeteer with his veneer: straight from Krakatua - ah
Love Must Be In the Air
In Alphabetical Order
a Matty Matt Sax Project
Circa 2005
F C Dm
Love, your fumes have poisoned everyone.
A
They melt away our rationality.
Bb C Dm C Bb
Look who we’ve become – a mindless race.
C
And yet it’s all a waste.
F A Bb F G
Love must be in the air cause everybody’s choking.
F A Bb Am Gm F C
Love must be everywhere.
Dm Bb Dm Bb
It grabs a hold of someone new and they’re a carcass when it’s through.
Love, you promised a nice and quiet stroll
But failed to mention all the landmines
Once you’ve taken your toll, we’re all obliterated, dissected and humiliated.
Love must be in the air cause everybody’s choking.
Love must be everywhere.
It grabs a hold of someone new and leaves them shattered when it’s through.
Dm Dm/C# Dm/C G
How did I ever come to this? Why did I even try?
Bb Bb/B Bb/C G Bb
Love is a time bomb no one resists. Everyone must be blind or out of their mind.
Love must be in the air cause everybody’s choking.
Love must be everywhere.
It grabs a hold of someone new and leaves them shattered when it’s through.
a Matty Matt Sax Project
Circa 2005
F C Dm
Love, your fumes have poisoned everyone.
A
They melt away our rationality.
Bb C Dm C Bb
Look who we’ve become – a mindless race.
C
And yet it’s all a waste.
F A Bb F G
Love must be in the air cause everybody’s choking.
F A Bb Am Gm F C
Love must be everywhere.
Dm Bb Dm Bb
It grabs a hold of someone new and they’re a carcass when it’s through.
Love, you promised a nice and quiet stroll
But failed to mention all the landmines
Once you’ve taken your toll, we’re all obliterated, dissected and humiliated.
Love must be in the air cause everybody’s choking.
Love must be everywhere.
It grabs a hold of someone new and leaves them shattered when it’s through.
Dm Dm/C# Dm/C G
How did I ever come to this? Why did I even try?
Bb Bb/B Bb/C G Bb
Love is a time bomb no one resists. Everyone must be blind or out of their mind.
Love must be in the air cause everybody’s choking.
Love must be everywhere.
It grabs a hold of someone new and leaves them shattered when it’s through.
Maybe If We All Devolved
In Alphabetical Order
a Matty Matt Sax Project
Circa 2005
Featuring Eric Bellard
C D G A
G D B Em C
What would it be like if everybody you knew
G C
Developed gills and sprouted fins
G D
And started to head back towards the o-o-ocean
But before that happens our back bones slowly arch and
We turned into primates again
And everybody looked like Charles Darwin
C G
Maybe if we all
C G
Devolved
C G
All of our problems would be solved
D C G
But then if we all devolved
C G
We all
C G D
Would be in need of evolving again
Then the expression will finally have meaning
Cause they’ll be more fish in the sea
And the more fish are people like you and me
Eventually break down till we’re all just single cells
Occupying some ancient sludge
In the paradise where we all came from
Chorus
C Bm C Bm C Bm G D
I’m not feeling fit enough to survive
a Matty Matt Sax Project
Circa 2005
Featuring Eric Bellard
C D G A
G D B Em C
What would it be like if everybody you knew
G C
Developed gills and sprouted fins
G D
And started to head back towards the o-o-ocean
But before that happens our back bones slowly arch and
We turned into primates again
And everybody looked like Charles Darwin
C G
Maybe if we all
C G
Devolved
C G
All of our problems would be solved
D C G
But then if we all devolved
C G
We all
C G D
Would be in need of evolving again
Then the expression will finally have meaning
Cause they’ll be more fish in the sea
And the more fish are people like you and me
Eventually break down till we’re all just single cells
Occupying some ancient sludge
In the paradise where we all came from
Chorus
C Bm C Bm C Bm G D
I’m not feeling fit enough to survive
Nothing Is More
In Alphabetical Order
a Matty Matt Sax Project
Circa 2005
These Christians and their religion
Believe it but they don't know the Catechism
And as a result schisms and frictions occur
Listen, this is not fiction
As denominations prove our division
We really need our Catechisms
Now Metaphysics is just not the weird spot
In the used book section, correction
My, my, my who's that?
Better educate yourself and take a truth bath
Where the soap and the suds are blowing you up
With more than just the thought of getting hopefully drugged
By something other than the truth
Man I'm sick of you people demanding proof
Man I'm sick of hearing every excuse
Excuse me, but I've heard it before
And it seems that by your devotion to science you just undercut the Word of the Lord
Now what is it for?
And what is in store for a church on the search when the church is a slut and a whore
Getting cut to the core
In an age where nothing is more
Hot damn, if you really wanna get it baby get it when we're getting it on
Hot damn, every time that I spit it, I hit it and then I get it and (I'm) gone
a Matty Matt Sax Project
Circa 2005
These Christians and their religion
Believe it but they don't know the Catechism
And as a result schisms and frictions occur
Listen, this is not fiction
As denominations prove our division
We really need our Catechisms
Now Metaphysics is just not the weird spot
In the used book section, correction
My, my, my who's that?
Better educate yourself and take a truth bath
Where the soap and the suds are blowing you up
With more than just the thought of getting hopefully drugged
By something other than the truth
Man I'm sick of you people demanding proof
Man I'm sick of hearing every excuse
Excuse me, but I've heard it before
And it seems that by your devotion to science you just undercut the Word of the Lord
Now what is it for?
And what is in store for a church on the search when the church is a slut and a whore
Getting cut to the core
In an age where nothing is more
Hot damn, if you really wanna get it baby get it when we're getting it on
Hot damn, every time that I spit it, I hit it and then I get it and (I'm) gone
Oh Yeah
In Alphabetical Order
a Matty Matt Sax Project
Circa 2005
Featuring Holly Booth
G
Do you love me?
Eb D
Oh Yeah
G
Am I hot?
Eb D
Oh Yeah
G
Don’t you need me?
Eb D Eb D Eb D
Oh Yeah, Oh Yeah, Oh Yeah
Em Eb A
I bet you’ve never had nobody as good as me
C B Em
It’s hard to find somebody that’s so hot
C A D D7
I can’t see why you’d ever give up on me
Am I special?
Oh Yeah
Aren’t I strong?
Oh Yeah
Would you kiss me?
Oh Yeah, Oh Yeah, Oh Yeah
It’s hard to sleep alone when everybody in the world
Wants for you to sleep with them
Take my picture make it into a poster
Am I special?
Oh Yeah
Aren’t I cool?
Oh Yeah
Don’t you want me?
Oh Yeah, Oh Yeah, Oh Yeah
G Eb E7 A7 D G
Do you love me?
Oh Yeah
Am I hot?
Oh Yeah
Don’t you need me?
Oh Yeah, Oh Yeah, Oh Yeah
a Matty Matt Sax Project
Circa 2005
Featuring Holly Booth
G
Do you love me?
Eb D
Oh Yeah
G
Am I hot?
Eb D
Oh Yeah
G
Don’t you need me?
Eb D Eb D Eb D
Oh Yeah, Oh Yeah, Oh Yeah
Em Eb A
I bet you’ve never had nobody as good as me
C B Em
It’s hard to find somebody that’s so hot
C A D D7
I can’t see why you’d ever give up on me
Am I special?
Oh Yeah
Aren’t I strong?
Oh Yeah
Would you kiss me?
Oh Yeah, Oh Yeah, Oh Yeah
It’s hard to sleep alone when everybody in the world
Wants for you to sleep with them
Take my picture make it into a poster
Am I special?
Oh Yeah
Aren’t I cool?
Oh Yeah
Don’t you want me?
Oh Yeah, Oh Yeah, Oh Yeah
G Eb E7 A7 D G
Do you love me?
Oh Yeah
Am I hot?
Oh Yeah
Don’t you need me?
Oh Yeah, Oh Yeah, Oh Yeah
Progress is Slow
In Alphabetical Order
a Matty Matt Sax Project
Circa 2005
Featuring Barrett Black
F Am Em
I think it’s finally settling in
F Am Em
I’m growing older and less mature
F Am Em
And all my friends are scattering
G Dm C G
To their respective homes
Dm C G
Their over protective homes
Dm C G
Their over protective homes
The seasons serve as milestones
Reminding me of how far I’ve come
And I know that I’ve got so much farther to go
And I hate when progress is slow
And I hate when progress is slow
a Matty Matt Sax Project
Circa 2005
Featuring Barrett Black
F Am Em
I think it’s finally settling in
F Am Em
I’m growing older and less mature
F Am Em
And all my friends are scattering
G Dm C G
To their respective homes
Dm C G
Their over protective homes
Dm C G
Their over protective homes
The seasons serve as milestones
Reminding me of how far I’ve come
And I know that I’ve got so much farther to go
And I hate when progress is slow
And I hate when progress is slow
Quasi-Love
In Alphabetical Order
a Matty Matt Sax Project
Circa 2005
D F# Bm
I’m in love with a girl
E G A D A
And she’s not like everyone thought’d be the girl I would choose
D F# Bm E
I don’t mind if she needs a shave
G A D
They’ve no right to say how many pounds she should lose
F#m G D A
Whenever she calls me life becomes a dream
Before I go see her I’m swishing Listerine
She’s in love with a guy who’s not anything close
To the one’s on her walls
She picks me up in her arms; carries me wherever I need to go
When I burp she’s never appalled
I love how her mustache is always thicker than mine
No need for a bus pass – she’s right on the Marta line
G A D
It’s strange to think that I
G A D
It’s strange to think that I
G A F# G
It’s strange to think that I’m in love
G A D
But I am
It’s strange to think that I
It’s strange to think that I
It’s strange to think that I’m in love
But I am
a Matty Matt Sax Project
Circa 2005
D F# Bm
I’m in love with a girl
E G A D A
And she’s not like everyone thought’d be the girl I would choose
D F# Bm E
I don’t mind if she needs a shave
G A D
They’ve no right to say how many pounds she should lose
F#m G D A
Whenever she calls me life becomes a dream
Before I go see her I’m swishing Listerine
She’s in love with a guy who’s not anything close
To the one’s on her walls
She picks me up in her arms; carries me wherever I need to go
When I burp she’s never appalled
I love how her mustache is always thicker than mine
No need for a bus pass – she’s right on the Marta line
G A D
It’s strange to think that I
G A D
It’s strange to think that I
G A F# G
It’s strange to think that I’m in love
G A D
But I am
It’s strange to think that I
It’s strange to think that I
It’s strange to think that I’m in love
But I am
Red Wine and Burger King French Fries
In Alphabetical Order
a Matty Matt Sax Project
Circa 2005
G Em C D
Red wine and Burger King French fries
G Em C D
Cold ketchup and oatmeal cream pies
G Em C D
I’m eating while my laundry dries
G Em C D
No groceries, I had to improvise
Em A
Why did I drink so much?
Em A Bm C D
I feel like I might throw up here in bed.
How did I get so drunk?
How did I get so drunk on birthday wine?
This lazy Sunday afternoon
Long naps and watching cartoons
Red wine: I’ll be sick soon
I’ll sing this to the moon
a Matty Matt Sax Project
Circa 2005
G Em C D
Red wine and Burger King French fries
G Em C D
Cold ketchup and oatmeal cream pies
G Em C D
I’m eating while my laundry dries
G Em C D
No groceries, I had to improvise
Em A
Why did I drink so much?
Em A Bm C D
I feel like I might throw up here in bed.
How did I get so drunk?
How did I get so drunk on birthday wine?
This lazy Sunday afternoon
Long naps and watching cartoons
Red wine: I’ll be sick soon
I’ll sing this to the moon
Song
In Alphabetical Order
a Matty Matt Sax Project
Circa 2005
F C
I recorded a song
Dm C Bb
Thought that maybe I’d add piano
F C
So I am singing along
Dm C Bb
To the back left you hear a banjo
Gm C
I was in the key of G
Dm C Bb
But that had to change
Gm C
I transposed it down to F
Dm C Bb
To fit my vocal range
Here comes the chorus
F C Gm
Background vocals here
Bb C Bb
A nice catchy chorus with lots of oohs
F C Gm Bbm
You never want to end it on a minor chord
The second verse is weak
Unless you add a xylophone
To help and carry it through
A bass line maybe or even a trombone
So now I need some drums
Nothing big, just a high hat
A rim shot in half time
Now we’re getting close to climax
Chorus number two
Exchange the rim shot with a snare drum
Don’t forget not to end it on a minor chord
Dm Am Bb F
Here is the bridge
You may notice that every bridge there is
Is quiet at first then builds up into a solo
Which will lead right into the last chorus of the song
Last chorus here
Throw everything on top if you want to
Just change the key for a classical
Huge end of your song
That’s how you write a song
That’s how you write a song
a Matty Matt Sax Project
Circa 2005
F C
I recorded a song
Dm C Bb
Thought that maybe I’d add piano
F C
So I am singing along
Dm C Bb
To the back left you hear a banjo
Gm C
I was in the key of G
Dm C Bb
But that had to change
Gm C
I transposed it down to F
Dm C Bb
To fit my vocal range
Here comes the chorus
F C Gm
Background vocals here
Bb C Bb
A nice catchy chorus with lots of oohs
F C Gm Bbm
You never want to end it on a minor chord
The second verse is weak
Unless you add a xylophone
To help and carry it through
A bass line maybe or even a trombone
So now I need some drums
Nothing big, just a high hat
A rim shot in half time
Now we’re getting close to climax
Chorus number two
Exchange the rim shot with a snare drum
Don’t forget not to end it on a minor chord
Dm Am Bb F
Here is the bridge
You may notice that every bridge there is
Is quiet at first then builds up into a solo
Which will lead right into the last chorus of the song
Last chorus here
Throw everything on top if you want to
Just change the key for a classical
Huge end of your song
That’s how you write a song
That’s how you write a song
The Sun Has Exploded
In Alphabetical Order
a Matty Matt Sax Project
Circa 2005
Featuring Eric Bellard
D G A Bm G D A
I hope this phase of dumb clichés and songs of being broken hearted
Just slips away without a trace and I return to where I started
But as it were I’m immature and obsessed with why we parted
Bm Bm/Bb
I’m under her spell.
Bm/A E
The clouds just swell and burst their guts.
G (build up and walk down to F#)
So why does it rain on my parade?
Bm G A G A D
Nobody knows if the sun has exploded but I hope that it would right now.
I wrote her songs; she wrote me off
My dignity’s hard to find
We disagreed.
She could not see enough to see that she was blind.
She spoke of a large wedding in Charleston
But I’m not quite who she had in mind
I’m under her spell.
The clouds just swell and burst their guts.
So why does it rain on my parade?
Nobody knows if the sun has exploded but I hope that it would right now.
a Matty Matt Sax Project
Circa 2005
Featuring Eric Bellard
D G A Bm G D A
I hope this phase of dumb clichés and songs of being broken hearted
Just slips away without a trace and I return to where I started
But as it were I’m immature and obsessed with why we parted
Bm Bm/Bb
I’m under her spell.
Bm/A E
The clouds just swell and burst their guts.
G (build up and walk down to F#)
So why does it rain on my parade?
Bm G A G A D
Nobody knows if the sun has exploded but I hope that it would right now.
I wrote her songs; she wrote me off
My dignity’s hard to find
We disagreed.
She could not see enough to see that she was blind.
She spoke of a large wedding in Charleston
But I’m not quite who she had in mind
I’m under her spell.
The clouds just swell and burst their guts.
So why does it rain on my parade?
Nobody knows if the sun has exploded but I hope that it would right now.
Unemployed (it must be nice)
In Alphabetical Order
a Matty Matt Sax Project
Circa 2005
Dm Bb F C
She wakes up at noon
Dm Bb F
Flops on the couch
A Bb C
Today she’s committed to all of her soaps
Dm Bb F C Dm Bb F
Her lunch is some cereal and potato chips
A Bb C
The crumbs are gathering on her robe
Gm C
She’s so relaxed
F Am Bb
She’s got it all worked out
Gm C F
Why didn’t I think of this first?
Gm C
F A Bb G
It must be so very nice to be unemployed
F A Bb
It must be so very nice
F A Bb G
It must be so very nice to be unemployed
She never leaves the house
Except to run to the store
To stock the freezer with ice cream
We try to get her out
We advise books
But she only reads magazines
We cannot lie; we all want to be you
You never miss your shows
It must be so very nice to be unemployed.
a Matty Matt Sax Project
Circa 2005
Dm Bb F C
She wakes up at noon
Dm Bb F
Flops on the couch
A Bb C
Today she’s committed to all of her soaps
Dm Bb F C Dm Bb F
Her lunch is some cereal and potato chips
A Bb C
The crumbs are gathering on her robe
Gm C
She’s so relaxed
F Am Bb
She’s got it all worked out
Gm C F
Why didn’t I think of this first?
Gm C
F A Bb G
It must be so very nice to be unemployed
F A Bb
It must be so very nice
F A Bb G
It must be so very nice to be unemployed
She never leaves the house
Except to run to the store
To stock the freezer with ice cream
We try to get her out
We advise books
But she only reads magazines
We cannot lie; we all want to be you
You never miss your shows
It must be so very nice to be unemployed.
Vodka's to Blame
In Alphabetical Order
a Matty Matt Sax Project
Circa 2005
G7 Em7
Woke up at someone else’s house with your pants on backwards
G7 Em7
You called me for a ride home
C C/C# G D
You thought you’d take advantage of what you take for granted
You thought you’d take advantage of what you take for granted
I came though reluctant
I didn’t buy your story that you were abducted by aliens
You thought you’d take advantage of what you take for granted
You thought you’d take advantage of what you take for granted
G
I don’t blame you
A
I blame the vodka
C F D
I know you don’t want to see me now
I won’t blame you
I’ll blame the vodka
This is not how I want to spend the night
Don’t blame me
Blame the vodka
I’m Willie Wonka and you’re Charlie
Don’t blame me
Blame the vodka
My helicopter of health is descending
a Matty Matt Sax Project
Circa 2005
G7 Em7
Woke up at someone else’s house with your pants on backwards
G7 Em7
You called me for a ride home
C C/C# G D
You thought you’d take advantage of what you take for granted
You thought you’d take advantage of what you take for granted
I came though reluctant
I didn’t buy your story that you were abducted by aliens
You thought you’d take advantage of what you take for granted
You thought you’d take advantage of what you take for granted
G
I don’t blame you
A
I blame the vodka
C F D
I know you don’t want to see me now
I won’t blame you
I’ll blame the vodka
This is not how I want to spend the night
Don’t blame me
Blame the vodka
I’m Willie Wonka and you’re Charlie
Don’t blame me
Blame the vodka
My helicopter of health is descending
Without You
In Alphabetical Order
a Matty Matt Sax Project
Circa 2005
D G
I’m feeling like a million bucks
D G
The sun is out and it’s so bright
D G
I haven’t spoken with you in months
F#
And you could not pay
G D A
Me nearly enough to reconsider your letter
G D A
The one that you wrote in hopes to get us back together
Bm D A
Life for me is simply so much better
Bm G D
Without you
Bm G D
Without you
Bm G D A
Without you in my life
E
Now you know
The Bible says that we’re fallen
I’ve certainly fallen for you
Now I’m only fallin asleep
And you don’t know
How badly this rest was needed
This was the first time a friend’s advice was heeded
I’m better off alone I think I finally believe it
Truth be told
Truth be told I’m alright
Now you know
a Matty Matt Sax Project
Circa 2005
D G
I’m feeling like a million bucks
D G
The sun is out and it’s so bright
D G
I haven’t spoken with you in months
F#
And you could not pay
G D A
Me nearly enough to reconsider your letter
G D A
The one that you wrote in hopes to get us back together
Bm D A
Life for me is simply so much better
Bm G D
Without you
Bm G D
Without you
Bm G D A
Without you in my life
E
Now you know
The Bible says that we’re fallen
I’ve certainly fallen for you
Now I’m only fallin asleep
And you don’t know
How badly this rest was needed
This was the first time a friend’s advice was heeded
I’m better off alone I think I finally believe it
Truth be told
Truth be told I’m alright
Now you know
Xenophilia
In Alphabetical Order
a Matty Matt Sax Project
Circa 2005
E A
She came from India
E B
Had that red dot going on
E A
Smack dab in between her eyes
E B
Like a pimple growing on
? ?
She might get through to me
?
Couldn’t get her out of my mind
F#m A B
Xenophilia
Is the attraction of foreigners
And she’s a foreigner
So I must have more of her
I’ll run as fast as I can
Plus she smells like fish
She came from India
Couldn’t speak a word of Eng
Lish. But I’m alright with that
Cause that Indian could sing
a Matty Matt Sax Project
Circa 2005
E A
She came from India
E B
Had that red dot going on
E A
Smack dab in between her eyes
E B
Like a pimple growing on
? ?
She might get through to me
?
Couldn’t get her out of my mind
F#m A B
Xenophilia
Is the attraction of foreigners
And she’s a foreigner
So I must have more of her
I’ll run as fast as I can
Plus she smells like fish
She came from India
Couldn’t speak a word of Eng
Lish. But I’m alright with that
Cause that Indian could sing
You're In Hate With Me
In Alphabetical Order
a Matty Matt Sax Project
Circa 2005
G Eb D X4
C7 B7
You’re the prettiest broad this city has
Em A
Ever got to see
C7 B7
You’re proactive and more attractive
Em A C
I’m in love with you’re in hate with me
I’m the nastiest guy.
The classiest girl can’t disagree.
I’m worth less than something worthless
I’m in love with you’re in hate with me
a Matty Matt Sax Project
Circa 2005
G Eb D X4
C7 B7
You’re the prettiest broad this city has
Em A
Ever got to see
C7 B7
You’re proactive and more attractive
Em A C
I’m in love with you’re in hate with me
I’m the nastiest guy.
The classiest girl can’t disagree.
I’m worth less than something worthless
I’m in love with you’re in hate with me
Zeno's Paradox
Zeno’s Paradox
In Alphabetical Order
a Matty Matt Sax Project
Circa 2005
C G Am
We stayed up till 12 o clock
Dm C E
Raised our drinks at the ball’s descent
Am F G
Anna, everyone’s kissing here but us
C G Am
When all of this awkwardness
Dm C E
Dissipates with the plastic forks
Am F G
Anna, maybe I’ll find the courage then
F C
When I’m with you
F C
I’m so high
F C Em G
Then gravity responds
Am F Em
Paradise, come soon
Am F G Am F G C
Paradox – Why must you close the pair of eyes I’m looking through?
Tip toe to the top of time
Count it down like hide and seek
Anna, ready or not cause here I come
It’d have to take 6 months
To walk from Georgia to Maine
Anna, it’d take a lifetime to step to you
When you’re with me I'm so high
Then gravity answers
F C Em Am
Look at Mikey now – old and overweight
F C E Am
Child acting sure has consequences
F C Em Am
After every take they fed him chocolate cake
F C E Am
Now he’s so obese he’s lost his senses
When I’m with you
When you’re with me
The universe is aligned
There I go again
Dragging your name through the mud
Now you should know:
I’ll look into your looking through my looking too
Tuesday, March 01, 2005
A conversation written by my good friend Clint
Matt: Siguy! These tails de coque are to die for!
Drinkard: My parents reccomended the joint. They're paying for dinner, too... What do you mean by "to die for"?
M: Yeh... [nervous laughter] ...You already told me that your parents were paying for dinner.
D: Did I? ...huh... Anyways, what did you mean by "to die for"?
M: "By to die for?"
D: Si... "to die for".
M: Oh... just "to die for."
D: ...
M: Well... I mean that I would offer myself up as a propitiation for this beverage.
D: That means you would no longer be able to drink of the thing for which you perished.
M: [takes a drink of purple beverage] Right... it's that good. That's kinda the point of the phrase.
D: Well, that's ludicrous.
M: Was Christ's death ludicrous?
D: Are we gonna get all teleological now?
M: Do you mean theological?
D: That's what I said.
M: Oh...
D: ...
M: Hey... earlier when you were asking me what i meant by "by to die for," were you...
D: Just "to die for"---yeh.
N: ...Were you, uh, mentally placing the punctuation within the quotation marks or outside the quotation marks?
D: Outside.... Who's "N"?
M: I don't know what you're talking about, but you're supposed to put the punctuation within the quotation marks.
D: Sure... Who's "N?"
M: Do you mean where is IN the quotation marks?
D: No... For some reason, you were "N" a second ago--like, you WERE the letter "N."
M: Heh heh, well I'll always been with the IN crowd, boo-crunch.
D: [laughter]M: [laughter]
D: L-O-L
M: [more laughter]
D: [more laughter]
M: R-O-F-L!
D: [hysterical laughter]
M: [hysterical laughter]
D: [laughter]
M: [catches breath]
D: L-M-A-O!!!!
M: [takes a sip of purple beverage] What does THAT mean?
D: LAUGHING MY ASS OFF!!! [laughter]
M: [orange beverage projects from nostrils]
D: AAAAAAYYYEEEEEE!!!!
M: [sputtering]
D: WHY IS IT ANARANJADO??!!!!
M: I WAS THE LETTER 'N' EARLIER!!!!
Drinkard: My parents reccomended the joint. They're paying for dinner, too... What do you mean by "to die for"?
M: Yeh... [nervous laughter] ...You already told me that your parents were paying for dinner.
D: Did I? ...huh... Anyways, what did you mean by "to die for"?
M: "By to die for?"
D: Si... "to die for".
M: Oh... just "to die for."
D: ...
M: Well... I mean that I would offer myself up as a propitiation for this beverage.
D: That means you would no longer be able to drink of the thing for which you perished.
M: [takes a drink of purple beverage] Right... it's that good. That's kinda the point of the phrase.
D: Well, that's ludicrous.
M: Was Christ's death ludicrous?
D: Are we gonna get all teleological now?
M: Do you mean theological?
D: That's what I said.
M: Oh...
D: ...
M: Hey... earlier when you were asking me what i meant by "by to die for," were you...
D: Just "to die for"---yeh.
N: ...Were you, uh, mentally placing the punctuation within the quotation marks or outside the quotation marks?
D: Outside.... Who's "N"?
M: I don't know what you're talking about, but you're supposed to put the punctuation within the quotation marks.
D: Sure... Who's "N?"
M: Do you mean where is IN the quotation marks?
D: No... For some reason, you were "N" a second ago--like, you WERE the letter "N."
M: Heh heh, well I'll always been with the IN crowd, boo-crunch.
D: [laughter]M: [laughter]
D: L-O-L
M: [more laughter]
D: [more laughter]
M: R-O-F-L!
D: [hysterical laughter]
M: [hysterical laughter]
D: [laughter]
M: [catches breath]
D: L-M-A-O!!!!
M: [takes a sip of purple beverage] What does THAT mean?
D: LAUGHING MY ASS OFF!!! [laughter]
M: [orange beverage projects from nostrils]
D: AAAAAAYYYEEEEEE!!!!
M: [sputtering]
D: WHY IS IT ANARANJADO??!!!!
M: I WAS THE LETTER 'N' EARLIER!!!!
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