Tuesday, March 29, 2005

And Now a Word From Our Sponsor

Every so often I take the time to actually observe the world around me. This happens about once or twice a month. Well, that is actually being a bit liberal. Maybe two or three times every two months. Perhaps that is a bit conservative. Or moderate. But that is not the point. The point is that every now and then I take the time to observe. Here are some of my observations. And reservations.

1. People can't walk any more alone. By this I mean, they can't walk without being on a cell phone. Very rarely do you actually see somebody just walking. Not talking. We are so afraid to be alone for some reason. Must talk to someone. Anyone. I don't care. I have to talk to somebody right this second. Either that or we are so freaking insecure about looking like we are losers. If we are at least talking to somebody we are cool and connected to a social world. But the opposite is really the case. Enjoy a nice, peaceful, quiet walk. Put the freaking cell phone down for a minute.

2. Fashion has made the cycle back around and now we find people propping up their shirt collars. I won't comment any further on the absolute ridiculousness of this social trend.

3. Gas prices are at an all time high. SUVs are still the most coveted vehicles. This is the culture shooting itself in the foot in my opinion.

4. Pit stains should be in style. That way we wouldn't be so worried about them. I realize that this is not an "observation" but I felt like it needed to be on the list.

5. People are ready to have sex at 13 and the culture tells them not to get married until they are 30. The battle for purity is already lost with that paradigm. (This one was provided by every thoughtful RUF campus minister out there.)

6. Facebook and Friendster and virtual friendship networks are all the craze these days. Why though? What is the obsession we have with collecting "friends?" Having 450 virtual "friends" basically means that you have zero actual friends. There is no such thing as an internet friendship. It is a contradiction in terms.

7. No one, and I mean absolutely no one, knows what the War of 1812 was about. Including me.

8. Wendy's has not been selling as much chili this past week. My guess is that chili will be removed from their menu. You know, with the whole finger incident.

9. Anyone who says that they prefer coffee black is a liar. And anyone who hangs out in coffee shops is pretentious. There is a nice, hipster coffee shop hangout here in Baton Rouge and in front of it was parked a truck with a bumper sticker on it that read, "Friends don't let friends drink Starbucks." Starbucks began as this artsy, hipster coffee shop in Seattle and blew up into the commercial megacorporation that it is. Only when something is weird and uncool is it really cool in this culture. And when that weird uncool thing becomes popular, it is actually then truly uncool. This truck driver is rebelling from the rebellion. It's just so silly to me. It's freaking coffee. No one really likes it anyway. People just want to look and feel bohemian.

10. Everyone needs a laptop. Ask them. They'll tell you. They'll say, "Yeah, I really need to get one." If they don't have one, they are looking for one. If they have one, they will let you know why it is the greatest machine on earth and why you have to have their exact one. We walk by people using them and drool with envy. Or we sit behind them and laugh to ourselves when the drooling, envious people walk by. For some reason we have convinced ourself that this luxury is now a necessity. It is the thing that now divides us. We are grouped into two peopl: those that have them and those that don't. I am still in the second group. But I need one.

9 comments:

Josh said...

Nice observations, however, I must take issue with #9a.

Anyone who says that they prefer coffee black is a liar.

This is false, I prefer my coffee black. In fact, I'm repulsed by the thought of sugar and creamer in my coffee. What is more, I only drink the strongest, darkest coffee I can find.

Josh said...

I refute you thusly.

OneoftheServens said...

Matt,
I feel your escatological view is severely inept. The Servens got your cd in this week. Good work. Blake wants to move to Charlottesville too (or, at least this week he does). Because my spring break was not relaxing, I have chosen to use this past week as my break and, hence, have done absolutely nothing for an entire week (except a few bare minimum neccessities like relieving myself, etc). This will possible extend into two weeks. I haven't heard from UVA about anthing, but should soon. Out like a trout.

re

Anonymous said...

Oh what I have noticed is that people walking with people have to be talking to other people on their phone. So I can talk to you today Judy you are too close and I see your face.

Also I decided to become more intelegent and educate myself on the war of 1812 and I after all this research (which was looking at one website) I still don't know what it was about, however I did learn that in 1812 America tried to invade Canada 3 times but we were not successful. What is up with that? We couldn't beat Canada. They don't even carry guns.

Anonymous said...

Oh my gosh. I totally knew this guy who really wanted to learn html and java. He practiced all the time. He even bought a LAPTOP so he could do it wherever he wanted. He learned the languages! Once I saw him in the library with his new LAPTOP. I went over to him and said, "Hey, is that one of those new G3 processors?" He didn't answer me.

corbs said...

i find your comments on today's culture and its relations to race and civilization completely ignorant. please try harder with your research

Anonymous said...

Not just cell phones, but look at all the iZombies on campus listening to their iTunes on their iPods so they can be iCool.

courtney jewett said...

You can't just label people or the culture....I'm different and innovative and "other" and alternative and I know the newest bands before anyone else does. I liked (insert anything here) before you even heard of it. I am a special snowflake (just like everyone else).

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