Sunday, May 18, 2008

King Size

one a day for aLL of may...

I'm a little upset by the false advertising of King Size candy bars. Sure, a King Sized Snicker comes in a big, King Sized package, but when you open it up, you don't find a massive, bar-of-gold-esque Snickers. You find two smaller Snickers in there. This whole "King" size doesn't exist. If I wanted two smaller Snickers, I would have gotten a "Fun" size. All a "King" size is is two "Fun" sizes wrapped together.

King sized beds are King Sized. It's one enormous bed. Not two twin beds pushed up against each other. Don't lie to me and tell me a King Size Snicker is fit for a king. A "King" size Snickers is only two "Twin" sized Snickers not fit for a king. If I wanted two twin candy bars, I would have purchased a Twix. Or an Almond Joy. Or a Mounds. Or a Nutto Bar.

Do we really need a "King" sized anything? We have stuff that you can get Super Sized. Biggie Sized. Jumbo Sized. And King Sized. I think we should have the option for "Obese Size." Don't waste my time with this "Biggie" light weight crap. With the amount of stuff that we Americans enjoy BIG, I would have thought someone would have complained by now about this whole, King Sized lie about King Sized Snickers. Perhaps America is content with two Twin, "Fun" sized Snickers in a King Sized wrapper. Or perhaps America is too Tony Danza to notice.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

do you have candy on the mind or what?! M&M''s, now snickers... and i thought a king bed was the same as two twins pushed together.

Gavin Breeden said...

please, sir....explain the use of "Tony Danza" in that sentence.

I mean I know who he is the lovable star of such shows as Taxi, Who's the Boss.....and nothing else.... But is this a phrase that people use? Have I just missed it? Or was it coined on this post?

my inquiring mind wants to know.

Anonymous said...

i am still laughing at the danza line, and i have no idea what its about. now, go grade some tests.