Oranges: Impenetrable Security System of Risk

Still, one a day for all of May...

There is nothing worse than spending an inordinate amount of time peeling an orange by hand to find out upon consumption that the orange is bad. You spend countless minutes (and seconds) carefully wedging your fingers between the thin outer peel/crust of protection and the soft, fragile, fruit beneath, pulling back and discarding the unnecessary "orange-bark" miniature-bit by miniature-bit. The anticipation builds. The suspense suspends. You anxiously await the first bite of pure, sweet, Florida Orange, the literal "fruit" of all of your labors.

And so you do. And something doesn't taste quite right. This isn't how an orange is supposed to taste, you think. So you keep chewing and give another orange wedge a try. You reason that maybe that first wedge tasted funny, but the rest will be good. And your reasoning turns out to be faulty. The rest is not good. It is, in fact, bad. Very bad. It tastes like chemicals. It is exceptionally chewy. It shouldn't be this chewy. It shouldn't taste like chemicals. It shouldn't be this way...not after all those countless minutes (and seconds) of peeling, discarding, wedging, wincing, gerunding, and tapping.

Pure Madness.