Opposite Day

"Hey Matt, you're the coolest kid in class."

"Really? Gee, thanks."

"Ha ha! It's Opposite Day!!" [haughty laughter here]

Remember Opposite Day? Remember its irregularity on the calendar? You could go to school and never really know if today was the day where everything said was really the opposite of truth. You would try to insult somebody and on that special day they would receive it as a compliment. And compliments become insults. What I never really understood about Opposite Day was that if you declared it to be Opposite Day on the given day where all things were truly opposite, then it wasn't really opposite day. In other words, the statement "It is Opposite Day" must be opposite-ized as well, which means that it isn't truly Opposite Day. And then if that is true, there is really no point in opposite-izing the statement. It is a logical conundrum, this Opposite Day. If it was TRULY Opposite Day, these little kids should have declared that "It isn't Opposite Day." But then again, this would not be very helpful information to the person who was just informed that they were the "coolest kid in class." They believe that they received a kind compliment. And afterall, today is not opposite day. But it is. Only you can't say it is. Because then that statement would be subject to being opposite-ized. And round and round we go into the logical abyss that is Opposite Day. Or rather, Opposite Madness.